A Guide To Dealing With Internal Conflict

Internal conflict is part of us and always will be; it’s a part of our emotional being, which plays a huge role in our life from time to time. So the first thing here is that your internal conflict is your life, and it’s a part of our filter process, which goes through our emotions, values, thought process, thinking, and so on. And if you’re thinking its making you weak, I want to deal with it. I will say to always remember that whatever comes in your life, there are always two aspects you will get: first, your lessons, and second, you have to let go if that is not serving you. It all depends on you and how you take it. 

Here is one more thing we have to understand: internal conflict can be challenging for you in your current moments, but by understanding the nature of your internal conflict, you can divert to your personal growth and self-discovery. 

Internal conflicts are like farming; in farming beside land, there is one space left for water to pass through, and if land needs water, farmers open it as per requirement. The same can apply with internal conflict; it comes in specific situations, and when we know the nature and need, you can easily utilize your inner struggle and drive it toward a better and more fulfilling life. And here we will understand internal conflict in depth, so let’s start.

What Is Internal Conflict?

Internal conflicts are the battle between your mind, heart, and human intelligence. Mind saying this is good or bad, heart adding emotions on it, why not, and why this and your intelligence are like why you are fighting guys, lets settle with proper knowledge and understanding or decided to leave. Yes guys, your internal conflict, as by name you can guess something happening inside, so yes, this is all about the process of your psychological and emotional ups and downs that are taking place to come to a conclusion with the help of your desire, need, value, beliefs, requirements, past experience, and so on, and trying to create one presentation for your outcome.

Types of Internal Conflict

Internal conflicts can be in various forms, and each comes with its own unique problems and struggles. Here are some: 

  • Moral Dilemmas: Moral dilemmas come from the situation where a person has to make choices in their life based on values and principles, and these values and principles can be based on self-imposed or world-imposed views and experiences; they also could be part of obligation and prohibition. For example, a person has one choice in front of them, and their individual action is required, but that action is totally uncomfortable due to their moral values, beliefs, and understanding.  
  • Psychological Conflict: It’s a mental-level struggle where the person is getting experience and trying to decide what is right and wrong and struggling with their mental discomfort. This conflict creates self-perceptions about individuals and puts them into continuous questions and different types of beliefs. For example, it can raise a voice like, Who are you? What do you think about you? and put you into a trap of self-doubt, guilt, a question mark on your self-worth, and so on. 
  • Emotional Conflict:  Emotional conflict is totally based on individual feelings of your emotions in current circumstances. Our emotions are like a beach; they always get changed, and that’s why in your current moments you will feel stress and disconnect, but in the same other moments you will feel good. The common reasons behind it can be self-love, forgiveness, hate, duty, happiness, regret, fear, ambition, trust issues, suspicion, desire for independence, need for connection, pride, humility, and so on, which can be part of your situations and conflicts. 

Causes of Internal Conflict

Many causes can be part of it; here are some:

Competing Desires and Goals: 

Every person has some desires and goals; at least if they do not have goals, they have desires to get something in their life. Having desires and goals is great, but the problem starts happening when you do not stick with your needs and you change your plans and goals always according to as you see another opportunity. This creates a divide in your focus and outcome; as a result, there is no proper outcome, and as time passes and you do not match with your outcome, it starts creating inner conflicts and tension.

Values and beliefs: 

Every individual works differently, and this all depends on what kind of information and experience we carry, and this information and experience create our life values and beliefs. Life is all about ups and downs you cannot expect all the time the same, and in these life events somewhere you can face different demands and pressure from your external life events that do not match with your values and beliefs that can create internal conflicts.

Past Experiences:

Something happened in your past with you, and now you are caring for yourself with those traumas in your present; you did not resolve it. And in your present life style, when you face the same past experience, then that can activate your insecurities as a result of internal conflicts. 

Self-Expectations vs. Reality

Everybody wants something in their life, but when it comes to self-expectations vs. reality, this can be different according to the person; some set the bar low, some can set the bar high, but when the person does not achieve the parameter or falls short, and at the same time you are not connected with the reality of the experience in your present moments, then it can create internal conflict in the name of frustration, self-doubt, and anger.

Decision-making Difficulties

Difficult decisions in your life can create internal conflict; for example, suppose you have multiple options that all look the same and produce the same outcome you need from them, and this uncertainty and willingness to not make mistakes in your choices make the process difficult and create tension within you.

Life Transitions and Changes

Life transitions and changes can be different. Example: career change, home change.  Can be anything when you go to new places, then your experience with that also changes; some can be supportive, some can be why this is happening with me, and when something does not happen according to your nature or you do not like it, then it can create inner conflicts for some time in you till you adjust the environments. 

Impact of Internal Conflict

It can create an impact on multiple aspects of your life, and here are some:

Mental Health: 

When you are facing your internal conflicts for a long time on any specific event and also you are not looking for solutions, not just because you do not want, here is the problem: what you want, you are not able to figure out, understand, or not put in any effort to solve it. Then this can lead to stress, anxiety, brain fog, and depression. There is always something to solve the problem; we always should put effort into it and always should try to not leave any unresolved conflicts of our lives that can later have a negative impact on our lives. 

Decision-Making: 

Internal conflicts make things messy, and do not allow yourself to stick with one thing in your life. This produces a lack of clarity and understanding, and when you are not clear and understand the situation, then there is a chance that your decision-making ability will have negative impact. 

Relationships: 

Something happened in your relationships and you did not resolve it. You keep recycling within yourself; this can put you in that place where your misunderstanding starts getting bigger, and when next time you interact, your projection and inner turmoil can reflect in your relationship, and as a result, it can affect your relationship. In any relationship, always try to be straight with your approach and understanding; there should not be hiding and sick games. Always look for clarification and understand the other part of what they think and why they think.

Strategies for Resolving Internal Conflict

Here are some strategies that you apply in your life to resolve the internal conflicts:

Self-Reflection: 

When you self-reflect on your actions and situations, you develop a clear understanding and depth of knowledge in any situation. This practice can provide you with the root cause of the problem, and when you know the root cause, then it’s all about time when it’s going to be solved with your efforts. Self-reflection steps you can approach, such as writing about situations or events and meditation, where you focus on your breath to stay calm in nature. 

Setting Priorities: 

When you know in your life what you want and why you want it, this way you can easily take any decision of your life that aligns with yourself and your values. If your priorities are clear and you understand what matters for you in any situation of your life, then it can significantly reduce your internal friction and misunderstanding, and as a result, no internal conflicts, tension, or doubt.

Mindfulness: 

Mindfulness is all about present moments. There you start keeping yourself totally aware of your surroundings and situation—what is happening and why is happening—and you start staying in your present moments without any judgment. You see and understand things. This way you are aware of all the experiences that are happening around you, and this can lead to fewer inner conflicts and misunderstood of any kind of thing.

Goal Setting: 

Want to achieve something big in life? Great, but when you do not set your goals around it, then in the process, when you do not match with your desired outcome, it can have an impact on your inner conflicts. Wanting to achieve or looking for something big in life is good, but when you approach any changes in your life with proper goal setting, then not only does it make an easy process, it also balances the gap between your reality and destiny as a result, not an unexpected result, and if everything around you is happening with proper knowledge and guidance, then it significantly reduces your inner conflicts because you are no longer with unrealistic approaches and thinking.

Internal Conflict Examples

Internal conflict is all about something happening within yourself. And things are getting different compared to inner and external. And here are some examples given  how it looks.

  • Identity Crisis: An identity crisis is the period of any time line where a person feels lost, uncertain, or confused about their self-identity. For example, first: when you get into any new relationship; second: you were working for 50 years for something , and now you are on your retirement and start feeling anxious in your free time, and so on.
  • Fear: You want to become the world’s best, but you are afraid of the depths of the water. Now here, battle can start within fear and ambition. 
  • Guilt: A person did not wrong with another person in the past, but now the person gets mature and understands the situation. That was a wrong attempt from my side to gain something, and now a person looking for options and thinking about how to look for forgiveness and deal with the situations?
  • Desire for Change: A person wants to change their life but is also afraid of their new approaches by thinking the uncertainty will come along with that and how to deal with it before knowing the situation and what will come and happen. Example: One person wants to start a business but is also doing work and thinking about what would happen if I left my job for business and failed to manage my most important activity of my life without money. 
  • Self-Doubt: Working on a new project and also doubting whether it will be worth working on or not, whether it will be good enough or not, keep on making negative comments on their capabilities and work.

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