On my social media pages, I often get questions like how to deal with mean people, why they are so mean to me, even when I am good with them, and so on, and I always say, guys, this is not about your behavior. The problem with the nicest people is that they think all people are like me, and from here, the problems start happening. Here are my personal suggestions for you guys: Never and ever think that others will be like you because they are not, and once you understand this, your 50% of life will settle here. You will encounter lots of people in your life; some will be bad for you, and some will be good for you. And if you face any situation where you are facing mean people in your life, then you have to understand their behaviors.
You cannot deal with people who are totally opposite to your character with your character. If you want to deal with such people, you have to be aware of their mentality and why they do what they do. And believe me, guys, some people intentionally hurt you, accept or not, but some do, which is why this happens like that. The reason could be anything. I also don’t know why some become like that. In our lives, we cannot understand all things, and our natural programming is like that, which is why we work this way. Is there any reason behind that? We can just think on our higher level like this, but we cannot get any reason why. (I will add my viewpoint here, and that is that in our nature, everything is two-faced; for example, good and bad, happy and sad, our lives are like two sides of the same coin, and we have to deal with different views and ways to deal with the same problem.) In our lives, lots of things are happening around us; we cannot understand why, but they are happening, and we can say, yes, there is something, and you have to deal with that. Here we will look into deep detail on how to deal with mean people in your life in healthy way and clear your path. You are feeling stuck in your life, so let’s start.
What Are The Signs Of A Mean Person?
Mean people are often too aggressive toward others. People lack empathy, respect, and understanding of others; their actions can be intensified to harm or hurt you; they can shout at you; they can start abusing you or start bullying you. These types of people don’t care about other feelings or other cases; they don’t understand that. They can manipulate others and use them for gaslighting or emotional blackmail. They can be inconsiderate behaviors like disrespecting your personal boundaries or starting to act with selflessness around you or on you.
Reasons of Mean People
Here we will look into some reasons and try to understand why mean people are like they are and what reasons are making them like that. Here are some:
Individual Insecurity:
In this case, let’s say you are forcing others to do something in our eyes. You think you are doing it right, but if you do not have a proper understanding of other people’s thoughts and feelings, they can feel inadequate or insecure. In this case, if they can express their feelings to you, then the process gets over, but when they cannot express their feelings to you, then they can bring you down to feel better about themselves.
learnt Conduct:
This behavior develops from the surroundings. Persons surroundings could be negative or some behavioral activities occurring, which makes this type of case most likely to start from childhood. Because in childhood our brains work on pure consciousness, what we see and what we listen toc easily become our default behaviors, and later in life, this can have a negative effect on our lives.
Consumption:
In the social media world, what individuals see makes an impact, and when people are connected with too much negativity, there are changes that individuals can reflect in their actions and behavior towards others without noticing that it can affect them, but they do. We have to understand that we are the byproduct of what we see, listen to, and learn.
Emotional Intelligence Lacking:
Something you cannot develop by your age, no matter how old you are. Underdeveloped emotional intelligence People cannot process their emotions, and if they are not able to process their emotions, it means they cannot process others too, which leads them to not understand and recognize things in any situation. and when they are not able to process emotions and do not understand others, this can be part of impulsive and reactive behaviors, and later, rudeness and aggression.
Habit:
A person started some activity for fun, and now this is part of their habit, which they cannot identify because it’s happening on an autopilot and unconscious level. That reason could be part of not being aware or something they are doing intentionally because they feel better this way.
Toxic Environment:
The person is following all these activities because this is all they know and like due to their lifestyle being in toxic environments. Their by-default nature allows them to do such things without thinking about any negative impact on others, and that can hurt people’s feelings and emotions.
How To Deal With Mean People
Dealing with mean people can be challenging, especially when you are not confident in your actions, so let’s see what you can do to deal with them:
Maintain Distance:
In some places, you cannot do anything, but before you start maintaining distance with them, let them know about their behaviors. If they understand, then good to go; if not, start maintaining distance with them. When a person doesn’t want to change, then believe me, you can do anything there.
Maintain Your Focus:
What people say and what people do is not your problem, but what you are doing is. From there, everything gets changed, so yes, your focus is important. Never allow you to focus on any mean people, and you will see they will start disappearing from your life.
Become Opposite:
When you see mean people taking over you, you just do opposite things, like if they say you are bad, you can say yes, I know, but you are good. If they say you are ugly, you can say you are beautiful. I know it looks a little weird, but when you do this, in most cases, you will see they have never faced anything like that, and this can give them shocks in their brain psychology. If they still have little understanding about emotions and behavior, they will never do that again, and if they do, you know we already discussed what you can do.
Clear Understand:
Some mean people are like they love to drag you in the dirty pond or mud like a pig because they enjoy those moments, and in this case, you have to just ignore these types of people. You cannot do anything here; no tricks, no showing mirrors; just walk away and do your work. Here, your plan will not work until they finally realize that, so better give your attention to your productive work. They will work on their timeline.
Setting Boundaries:
Setting boundaries with mean people is the best way to deal. You can let them know about their behavior and actions, or if I do not like this behavior, it should not happen next time. If this happens again, then there can be some consequences. This way, you directly let them know what your boundaries are. If they want to maintain a relationship, then they will accept it, or they will move on in their lives.
Dealing with Mean People at Work:
At your workplace, if your problem is not getting solved by your approach, then you can connect with a respected or any serious team member who can help, and if that also doesn’t work, then you can seek support from your company’s HR team member.
My Personal View Point
No person is born bad or wants to become mean, but we have to understand that our brains get developed by what we see, do, and listen to. If any individual can maintain these areas according to their outcome in life, they can achieve and become anything in their life, but the problem comes in how to maintain them at an early age. So here, I will say that parents responsibility comes to giving good environments to their children.
And when the outcome is already fully developed, like a mean person, as we already discussed above, what can you do?