Anxious attachments are often created by yourself; it can be from your past experiences, or just because you are getting so involved that your negative emotions start taking over, and the reason can be anything like fear and other negative emotions taking place, or it can be your by-default behaviour, which is coming from your childhood. When you know you are having problems with anxious attachments, dealing with and healing from them should be your first priority. Most people just accept and start saying, “I am this, what I can do, but when you want to deal with it, it can take your life to a new level, and that can lead to a happier, more fulfilled, and more balanced life.
Recognizing Anxious Attachment
Anxious attachment is your insecure emotion. There, you start developing any kind of way of going wrong. It can be based on your past experiences or just your imaginative things, and you start messing with your relationship, and your fear and insecurities get bigger when you don’t receive your results as per your needs.
Origins:
Whatever you are right now, you are your experiences, and anxious attachment can be from your childhood or any deeply rooted past activities.
If we see how it can be from your childhood, then one thing you have to understand is that child duration is your learning power; there you grab anything like a lightning speed, and in your childhood, something happened or your environment was like their negative emotions were at their peak, like fear, insecurity, and self-belief problems, and so then your anxious attachment can originate or can be part of your caregiving that was unpredictable or inconsistent.
or your past experience There, due to a certain reason, you went through some experiences, and now again, you don’t want to experience them. That is the reason your anxious attachment is taking part to fulfill and understand that.
Symptoms and Behaviors
- Fear of Being Left Behind there, people start doubting their relationship and start thinking my loved one will leave me or withdraw attention.
- An unstable emotional state Their mood swings and high-intensity emotional state start interfering with their intelligence, and under the influence of the mood swing, they start doubting their relationship.
- Continuously worry whether your partner loves you or if I am doing well, and so on.
- Adverse self-view often happens when you have low self-esteem or self-worth, which is why you are not good enough or lovable.
- Your attention matters, and when you start focusing on the wrong things, like why your partner will reject or abandon you, you never forget where your focus goes when your result goes.
- When you start overthinking any reaction, it can often drive you to your worst-case scenario.
- You always want to be close and are looking for continuous reassurance.
- Jelousy and possessiveness take place when your partner starts talking to anyone.
- A person starts depending on another person for emotional support, and if something happens when you are alone, then you start looking for someone and, as a result, become anxious.
- Always look for a compliment from your partner because you have trust issues.
- When a person is away from you for a certain reason and the time period is short, you still try to communicate and check in, and this happens due to fear of being alone.
Ways To Heal Anxious Attachment
Healing anxious attachment can be a multiple-step process, and here are some that you can apply in your life:
Know the source:
When you start looking for the source of anxious attachment and can understand it, you start developing a sense of self-awareness about the patterns that are triggering your anxious attachment, such as your feelings or past experiences that are making you behave like that, and once you know that, you can start the healing process on it as per your needs.
Regulate:
Emotions can go up and down; this is not in your control, but giving direction is in control, so whenever you are feeling in the middle of your anxious attachment, try to calm yourself. You can apply a couple of techniques, for example. activities such as meditation, where you close your eyes and start focusing on your breath. This way, you direct your focus and attention toward yourself from anxious attention, and you can also calm yourself or create any activities that can help you distancing your attention from anxiety, such as writing. So when anxious, come start writing or start talking. Start exercising. Do anything that you like to do.
Filter and Arrange:
Start filtering your negative self-talk about yourself, which creates an anxious attachment like I am not enough, I do not deserve, and so on, with your love outcomes like I deserve, I am enough, and so on. When you start filtering and replacing your outcome with your desired outcome, you will start building self-control, confidence, and self-worth, and once you get satisfied with yourself from here, the game changes.
Exchange:
In any relationship, our basic foundation is totally based on our communication, and when you are not able to deliver the right message to your party, then how you could accept your needs will be fulfilled, so try to express yourself in a clear and clean manner with your partner or loved one. Don’t try to manipulate; be clear and direct, and also be ready to compromise in some situations because each individual has a certain belief system that you cannot replace. Believe me, this is the beauty of our lives, and as you do, you will start developing a strong bond where your understanding is what matters, not your personal need, and then healing your anxious attachment is easy.
Trust and Patience:
Your trust and patience are must-haves in any type of relationship. Don’t let any kind of emotion distract you from your desired outcome. Try to focus on creating one stable platform that can put you on a secure attachment style, and believe me, any growth or any type of healing takes time, so be patient and keep working and creating as you want.